Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
