She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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