im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
someone owes me an orgasm
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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