I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Boobs speak an international language.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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