sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I could fuck to npr.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
