Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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