I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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