I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
