guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
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