I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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