I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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