I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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