No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
