You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
