R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
