how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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