Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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