So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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