If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
