wakey wakey hands off snakey
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
