3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
two words...techno handjob
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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