Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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