I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Four minutes until I can fart!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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