Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
