Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
sarcasm needs its own font
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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