I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
