guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize