Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
