His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
