That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
