Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
