:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
