Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You did what with his pubic hair?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
