I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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