elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
