They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's rum buckets o'clock
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
