He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
