I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
