So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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