I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
