bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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