just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
