all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
