she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize