check it out our google latitudes are spooning
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
