I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
