Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize