I've blown a few things in my day
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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