hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
