The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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