she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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