hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize