Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i've created a new STD.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
