We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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