She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
