she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
