dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
