I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
