have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
