he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
