Whod you bang
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
