yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
