If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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