ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
