my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My vagina is officially offended.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
