D3 body, D1 cock
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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