franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
