she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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