I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
