last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
